Shadow work prompts: 50 questions for the parts of yourself you’d rather not look at

Everyone has parts of themselves they keep out of sight: the jealousy they don’t admit to, the anger they swallow, the ambition they play down. Shadow work is the practice of noticing those parts and writing about them plainly instead of pretending they aren’t there.

Shadow work prompts are journal questions that help you notice the parts of yourself you usually hide or judge in other people. Start with gentle prompts about what irritates you or what you envy, write for ten to twenty minutes, stop whenever you want, and end each session with one kind sentence to yourself.

Pick a shadow work prompt

Theme

What bugs you in othersEnvyAngerPeople-pleasingOld family rulesInner criticHidden strengths

How deep?

GentleDeeper

What bugs you in others · Gentle

Name one habit in other people that irritates you more than it should. When did you last notice it?

Write for 10 minutesAnother prompt

You can stop at any point. If a prompt stirs up more than you want to deal with today, close it and pick a gentle one, or come back another day.

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Quick takeaways

• The “shadow” comes from Carl Jung: the parts of your personality you’ve pushed out of view, including good qualities, not only bad ones.
• The easiest way in is what bothers you in other people. Strong reactions often point at something in you.
• Start with the gentle prompts. Twenty minutes is plenty for one session.
• Writing about hard feelings can leave you feeling worse for a short while afterward. That’s common, and it usually passes.
• If prompts bring up trauma or feel overwhelming, stop and talk to a professional instead.

What is shadow work?

Shadow work is looking at the parts of yourself you’ve hidden, denied or judged, usually by writing about them. The idea comes from the psychiatrist Carl Jung, who called those parts the “shadow.” It isn’t a therapy in itself. It’s a way of getting to know yourself more accurately.

Christopher Perry, writing for the Society of Analytical Psychology, describes the shadow as “that hidden, repressed, for the most part inferior and guilt-laden personality.” He also points out that it holds useful things too, like normal instincts, realistic insights and creative impulses that got pushed down along with everything else.

The same article explains the usual way people run into their shadow: projection. You notice something in another person that you dislike, again and again, and eventually realize it’s something you struggle with yourself. That’s why so many shadow work prompts start with other people.

How do you do shadow work safely in a journal?

Start small, set a time limit of ten to twenty minutes, choose gentle prompts first, and give yourself permission to stop at any point. Expect to feel a bit stirred up afterward, and plan something calm for after the session.

A review of expressive writing research by Baikie and Wilhelm in Advances in Psychiatric Treatment found that writing about difficult feelings usually causes a short-term rise in distress, and that this doesn’t appear to cause longer-term harm. The authors recommend writing for a maximum of 20 minutes a session and making clear that people can stop at any time.

• Pick one prompt per session. Depth beats quantity.
• Set a timer. Ten minutes is enough to start. Twenty is the upper limit.
• Write without editing. Nobody else will read it.
• Stop if it’s too much. Close the notebook and do something ordinary: make tea, go outside, call someone.
• Close with one kind sentence. Write what you’d say to a friend who’d just written what you wrote.

Shadow work prompts for beginners

Beginner shadow work prompts ask about everyday reactions, like what annoys you, what you avoid and what you’d rather people didn’t know. They’re a way in without going straight to the heaviest material.

1. What’s one thing you do that you’d rather nobody saw?
2. Which compliment do you secretly want but never get?
3. What do you pretend not to care about?
4. What did you avoid doing this week? What were you avoiding feeling?
5. Which of your habits would you be embarrassed to explain?
6. What part of your personality do you tone down at work?
7. When did you last lie to make yourself look better? What were you protecting?
8. What do you judge yourself for most often?
9. What topic makes you change the subject?
10. Finish this sentence: “If people really knew me, they’d know that…”

Shadow work prompts about what bothers you in others

Projection prompts start with someone else and turn the question back toward you: who irritates you, what you judge quickly and what you’d hate to hear said about yourself.

11. Who irritated you this week? Describe exactly what they did.
12. Finish this sentence five times: “I can’t stand people who…”
13. Look at that list. Where have you done any of those things, even once?
14. What do you criticize in others that you’d hate someone to say about you?
15. Who do you find “too much”? Too loud, too confident, too needy? What would it cost you to be a little more like that?
16. What do other people get away with that you’d never let yourself do?
17. Think of someone you dislike for no clear reason. What do they remind you of?
18. Which person’s success do you find hardest to celebrate?

Shadow work prompts about envy and anger

Envy and anger prompts treat both feelings as information: envy points at something you want, and anger points at something you care about or a line that got crossed.

19. Whose life did you look at recently and feel a pang? What exactly were you looking at?
20. What does your envy say you want but haven’t admitted wanting?
21. What story do you tell about why they have it and you don’t?
22. What made you angry this week that you didn’t say out loud?
23. How does anger show up in your body before you notice it in your head?
24. Who was allowed to be angry in your house growing up? Who wasn’t?
25. What do you do instead of getting angry? Who pays for that?
26. Write an unsent letter to someone you’re angry with. Don’t edit it.

Shadow work prompts about people-pleasing and family rules

People-pleasing and family prompts look at the rules you picked up early about how to be liked, safe or good, and ask which of them you still follow without choosing to.

27. When did you last say yes and mean no? What did you want to say instead?
28. Whose approval do you check for before you make a decision?
29. What do you think would happen if you disappointed someone you love?
30. Which part of you gets left out when you keep everyone happy?
31. Write down three sayings you grew up hearing. Which ones do you still live by?
32. What was praised in your family? What was ignored?
33. What were you not supposed to talk about at home?
34. Which part of you did you hide to fit in as a child? Is it still hidden?
35. Which family rule are you still following that you’ve never actually chosen?
36. What would the younger you need to hear from you now?

Shadow work prompts about your inner critic

Inner critic prompts write down what the critical voice says, word for word, then ask where it came from and what it’s trying to protect you from.

37. What does your inner critic say most often? Write it in its exact words.
38. When is it loudest: mornings, at work, in front of a mirror, around money?
39. Whose voice does it sound like?
40. What is it trying to protect you from?
41. What would happen if you stopped listening to it for a week?
42. What’s one thing it says that isn’t true? Write the evidence.
43. Write back to it as calmly as you’d talk to a friend.

For a longer exercise that answers the inner critic the way you’d answer a friend, see the personal growth exercises.

Shadow work prompts for your hidden strengths

Hidden strength prompts look for the good qualities you’ve pushed down, often the ones you admire in other people. The shadow holds these too.

44. Who do you admire right now? List three qualities they have.
45. Which of those qualities do you already have but keep small?
46. What compliment do you brush off every time?
47. What did you love doing as a child that you stopped doing?
48. What would you do more of if nobody could see you?
49. What are you proud of but afraid to show?
50. What would change if you let yourself be as confident as you are in your head?

What should you do after a shadow work session?

Close the session gently: reread nothing, write one kind sentence to yourself, and do something physical or ordinary for ten minutes. Come back to the same prompt another day if it still feels unfinished.

• Don’t reread straight away. Give it a day. It will read differently.
• Write one kind line. “That was hard to write, and I wrote it anyway” counts.
• Move. A short walk, a shower or making something to eat brings you back into the day.
• Pick a lighter prompt next time if this one hit harder than you expected. The journal prompts by mood have options for heavy days.

When is shadow work not the right tool?

Shadow work isn’t the right tool when prompts bring up trauma, panic or thoughts of harming yourself, or when you’re already struggling to get through the day. In those cases, stop, and talk to a doctor, a therapist or someone you trust.

Journaling can help you notice patterns, but it can’t hold you through something heavy the way a trained person can. If a prompt opens up something from the past that feels too big to carry on your own, that’s a sign to bring it to a therapist rather than keep digging alone. The support page linked at the bottom of this post lists places to start.

Shadow work questions people ask

What is an example of shadow work?

Noticing that a coworker’s confidence irritates you, then writing about why. You might find you’ve been taught that confidence is showing off, and that you’d quite like to be more confident yourself. That realization is shadow work.

How long should you do shadow work for?

Ten to twenty minutes a session is enough. Research on expressive writing suggests keeping sessions to 20 minutes or less.

Is shadow work the same as therapy?

No. Shadow work is a self-reflection practice based on an idea from Jungian psychology. Therapy is a relationship with a trained professional. Shadow work can be a good companion to therapy, but it isn’t a replacement for it.

Can shadow work make you feel worse?

For a while, it can. Writing about difficult feelings often brings a short-term dip in mood. If that feeling doesn’t lift, or if it gets worse, stop and talk to someone.

What’s the best way to start shadow work?

Start with a gentle prompt about something that irritates you in other people, set a ten-minute timer and write without editing. For more everyday prompts to warm up with, see our journal prompts for every kind of day.